The Roasting of Ian Pete and Susan

Looking good and going strong since kindergarten!

Ian Pete and Susan share the unique distinction of being the only two members of SPUDHS88 who eventually “walked the aisle” and “tied the proverbial knot.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt,” goes one cliché.

You can’t be more familiar with one another than being classmates since Prep under Miss Noay and Miss Boladola, almost forty long years ago.

Familiar?  Yes!  Contemptuous?  Nah!

Susan said in a recent Facebook post, it was more like “escabeche“ - sweet and sour.

In kindergarten, we learned the alphabets, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I and so on.  We also learned to sing DO, RE, MI.  Ian and Susan eventually figured out that it was so very exciting to combine some of the kinder lessons and simply say “I DO!”

“There’s always an exception to every rule,” thus proves another cliché.

In high school, Ian and Susan held hands and sang a duet entitled “Both to Each Other.”  Witnessed by Bobby Amorin, they then performed the sacred ritual of sandugo and pledged both for each other, both by each other and both, of each other!  Charing!

Ian and Susan admits having been sweethearts the moment they met at the cashier‘s counter, while sucking ice candies and munching on Timburas, when their parents enrolled them for Prep.

Ian knows Susan from her split-ends to her toe in-grown.  Likewise, Susan knows Ian from his “kuto” all the way down to his “kuchichas.”

When we were in elementary, long before it became vogue, Susan tried to tattoo the name of “Ian” on her right cheek with a Mongol.  It was so painful it made her cry.  Only the dot of the small letter “I” was made and so if you look closer at Susan’s right cheek today, the dot remains.  It was the first and the last time Ian made her cry.  Now, she gets even!

Ian took up nursing in Bacolod and was pleasantly surprised when the course included having his butt injected by a “beautiful Ilongga.”  He said he didn’t mind as the Ilongga had twenty times more pimples than his warts.

The pleasant surprise turned to avid anticipation when the clinical instructor announced changing roles.  Avid was a mild adjective to use.  It was more like rabid but that's not the point of this article.

Ian's family objected when he wanted to repeat the course.

Long before Simon Cowell did it, Susan started her own TV talent show in Dumaguete.  It became so famous and each week, more and more people anticipated Susan’s next hairstyle.  My favorite was the golden cowrie style.

It also became famous as after each song, Susan challenged the contestants to sing while drinking a bottle of cold carbonated drink donated by her sponsor.

This couple have long wanted to conquer the international arena.  They have achieved their goal.  Well, sort of.

They have named their children, Dmitri and Kristoff.

They have prepared another exotic eastern European name Vladimir Potin on standby, just in case there will be a break in the prophylactic.  Ian keeps mum (mischievously) and just winks (mischievously) and smiles (mischievously) when asked why Putin is spelled with an “O.“

If it will be a baby girl, they will name her Narda.

Susan’s ancestors are the Han people of Fujian, China and, naturally, she was trained by her papa in the fine art of Kung Fu.  She says, it comes handy when the “escabeche“ turns sour.  She confides her dad learned Kung Fu by watching Jackie Chan movies.

Ian proudly claims his ancestor, the Spanish conquistador Ferdinand Magellan but vehemently denies any relationship with Yoyoy Villame and Brod Pete.

Susan once worked in the fabled Atlantis.

They grew up in the Philippines but has since moved to Scotland... land of the brave... under Wales, where they acquired their funny Scottish accent, like "um-boat" when they don't know, "low-boat" when referring to a butt crack and "sum-pout" when talking about butt flaps.

On a recent tour at Buckingham Palace, they were fortunate to meet Prince William and Princess Kate.  Ian was so excited to see the new baby, he committed a royal faux pas when he asked Prince William, "Where's Boy George?"  and William was like, "???!."

To Ian Pete and Susan, October 2013 is a special homecoming to the place where it all began.

Happy 20^th wedding anniversary!  (Editor's Note:  Sorry, we gave a clue to your age!)

For having achieved this solitary honor, we have prepared a short video entitled "Puppy Love Bears Fruit."

Puppy Love Bears Fruit from Ancestors Cherries on Vimeo.